


Was John Ever a Hostage?

by inevitably_johnlocked



Series: I-J's Sherlock Meta Series [19]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hostage Situations, John's past, John-centric, Meta, Tumblr, soldier John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inevitably_johnlocked/pseuds/inevitably_johnlocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or “Why I Believe John was Invalided Home After a Hostage Situation”. While writing my other John Meta, I discovered that there were some interesting reactions to John’s various kidnappings and dangerous situations. This explores my findings on why I think John was possibly a hostage prior to the events of ASiP. It’s more a study on John’s danger addiction than anything else, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was John Ever a Hostage?

**Author's Note:**

> **_FIRST PUBLISHED JUNE 14/15_**  
>   Original Meta Can be found at my blog here: [Was John Ever a Hostage](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/121533669815/was-john-ever-a-hostage)  
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> As I was writing another meta about John, I suddenly realized that John is far too calm in many of his hostage situations during the course of the series. Here I speculate a bit on John's past.  
> 
> 
> * * *

This is spring boarding from another John-related meta which I am currently writing, and I decided I would excerpt this bit into a separate meta because I thought it interesting enough to expand upon _(and to possibly shorten my other meta a teeny bit, because it’s pretty long)._

In my quest to understand _BBCS’_ John Watson as a character, I came across several events in the entirety of _SHERLOCK_ which suggests to me that the writers may be hinting at a much darker military past for John than we as a fandom have actually speculated. I think the general fandom consensus is that John was invalided home while trying to tend to a victim and then was subsequently shot in the shoulder in some form _(my favourite is John bent over trying to save a victim’s leg_ [hence his limp] _and whilst doing so was shot by a sniper in the back of the shoulder. The bullet went through him and killed his patient in the process)._

As I go through episode by episode, I have come across some interesting parallels which suggest that while those fandom theories of John’s gunshot may or may not have happened, I think the narrative is also presenting another possibility that I haven’t really seen portrayed in John-centric fanfics nor meta _(and I read a LOT of fan fiction and meta)._

I’d like to posit a theory that **John wasn’t just invalided home because he was shot, but because he was a _hostage_ while having been so.** I have found quite a few interesting things cropping up in the series that suggest such a horrific thing may have befallen our beloved army doctor, possibly twice: One where he had been strapped to or near a bomb, and one _(of which I am certain)_ where he has had a gun to his head. I’m not expecting anyone to agree with my theory; take or leave whatever bits you want. All I am attempting to accomplish is to put out an interesting and thought-provoking read for all. It’s even inspiring me to possibly expand upon it in my own fanfic, but we’ll see how ambitious I get. 

For the record, I am fully aware that the _VERY FIRST OPENING SEQUENCE (John’s nightmare)_ basically could disprove everything that is about to follow in this post – it’s highly possible that John’s nightmare is a reflection of the actual moments before he was shot _(it’s never ACTUALLY STATED in the series what John is having a nightmare about, just that we know it is of his time in Afghanistan)_. However, what’s to say that the nightmare _WAS_ the event that sent John home? All theories are plausible until proven otherwise by canon. 

I also want to mention that this meta obviously has many contradictions to a recently revealed [John Watson Exhibit](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/117289433435/natka-natka-natka-recentlyfolded) at _SHERLOCKED_ which essentially turned this meta into a moot point. Here’s the thing though, and I’m not just saying this because I was initially disgruntled: There are so many inconsistencies with what is written up for this exhibit and what is presented in-canon on the show and even on the blog that I am really taking the exhibit’s facts with a grain of salt. I think it was more of a trolling attempt than anything else, [or a live parallel to _TRF_](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/117377402250/john-watson-exhibit-kitty-reilly-expose%20target=), or micro clues to bigger things… Who knows. I mean, the exhibit got the _SHOULDER JOHN WAS SHOT IN WRONG_ for goodness sake. **I DO NOT CONSIDER THIS EXHIBIT CANON CONTENT UNLESS THE EVENTS PRESENTED WITHIN PLAY OUT ON-SCREEN**. To my knowledge the exhibit wasn’t written by one of the direct show runners of the actual series so, honestly I think it’s okay to exclude it from canon. It was a publicity thing for the casual Sherlock viewers – I believe that in my heart of hearts. Casual viewers won’t remember it was John’s left shoulder shot, or wasn’t it stated somewhere that it was Bill Murray who saved John, or his goddamned age was 37 in _ASiB_ so how can he be 44 in _HLV_? And yes, I realize I can’t just pick and choose what is canon and what is not. **_I GET THAT_**. But the inconsistencies are so many that it’s frankly rather embarrassing. A difference between the blog and this exhibit is that it’s written from a main character’s P.O.V. and we use it to fill in gaps from said character’s POV. This exhibit is **_not_** “written” from the P.O.V. of a known character in our modern canon – came quite frankly out of nowhere – so it’s possibly a sensationalist piece written by a supposed old comrade of John’s _(or written by Sherlock,[as I crack theorized later on](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/117377402250/john-watson-exhibit-kitty-reilly-expose))_. Anyway, as a fledgling meta writer, I should probably also use this exhibit, but as I linked above, I truly do believe this was meant as a thing for people to feed on; the media love a good lie after all. Canon content to me means written by the actual show runners; the people most familiar with the plot lines and story arcs. This exhibit was not. 

Okay, that’s done, back on point. **So, here’s my theory: John was in a prior hostage situation, possibly two, and Jim Moriarty uses that information to push John away from Sherlock, and _TGG_ was actually for John just as much as for Sherlock. Subsequently, John’s reactions to the various dangerous encounters he has could prove that John has had prior experience being not only a hostage but his reactions to GUNS in particular indicates that he possibly was held at gunpoint before his being invalided out.** _(phew!)_

That’s all rather far-fetched, but stay with me through this and let me explain! As much as Sherlock is Jim’s primary goal, Jim realises early on after John kills the cabbie that John is someone that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible in order to get to Sherlock. I also believe [Jim has Mycroft under his thumb to some degree](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/108592877275/jim-not-mycroft-texts-sherlock-and-john-in-tgg), so information can be easily acquired about John and his military history via Mycroft, ergo Jim knows about the circumstances upon which John was sent home. By using information gained about the possibility of a prior hostage situation, Jim thinks he can use this to his advantage and frighten John away. 

But John is a strong man, and I doubt even Jim foresaw that John is actually a danger addict. John’s stubbornness and loyalty, I believe, causes Jim to change tactics upon their encounter at the pool, especially in the wake of Sherlock’s reaction to John being strapped to a bomb, but that’s another meta altogether and where my beliefs follow along a very similar path to [wellthengameover](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com)’s theory about [Jim needing to burn out Sherlock’s heart instead](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/115980238860/wellthengameover-theres-a-lot-of-theories-that). 

For the entirety of this meta, I want you all to keep these lines of Sherlock’s in mind, as it helps solidify my belief that John was a hostage at least twice, and the final one was a gun held pointe blank to his person: 

>   
>  SHERLOCK: _[… ]_. **That says the original circumstances of the injury were traumatic. Wounded in action, then.** Wounded in action, suntan – Afghanistan or Iraq. _[[source]](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/43794.html)_
> 
> SHERLOCK: _[…]_ that’s a crack shot you’re looking for, **but not just a marksman; a fighter.** His hands couldn’t have shaken at all, so clearly **he’s acclimatised to violence.** He didn’t fire until I was in immediate danger, though, so strong moral principle. You’re looking for a man probably with a history of military service _[…]_ **… and nerves of steel …** _[[source]](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/42853.html)_

The bold emphasis is mine. I wanted you guys to be aware that John is all of the things pointed out in these two scenes. Sherlock himself, right in the first episode, suggests John’s injury was caused by a traumatic event. As well, he also points out John’s a fighter and is acclimatised to violence. These are important because Sherlock is **rarely wrong in the first few episodes of the series** , as he has yet to grow attached to John and be blinded by his affection for him. Below the cut, let me present you with the evidence I have found and with my own commentary of said evidence. Or, if you’d rather just read my summary and get to the point, you can scroll down to the TL;DR.

Let’s do this thing. 

* * *

__

### EXHIBIT A: JOHNNY GRAB YOUR GUN

__

I’m going to start with the guns because I believe that they are the strongest evidence towards my belief of John’s possible hostage past immediately prior to his discharge. The purpose of me starting with this is to show you John’s single weakness in the face of all of these horrible events, followed by his complete strength in dealing with other methods that could have been part of previous kidnappings. 

_TBB_ is the first episode in which we see John kidnapped on-screen by sinister forces that aren’t Mycroft and suddenly thrown into a terrifying situation. On-screen, John is visibly shaken and scared. But how does John later react to this event? Well, we get insight into this on [John’s blog entry for the _Blind Banker_ :](http://www.johnwatsonblog.co.uk/blog/28march)

>   
>  _We found ourselves being held at gunpoint by an opera singer and her assassins. My main concern was Sarah, of course. She hadn’t agreed to this. She hadn’t agreed to any of this. And, of course, the biggest irony was that they didn’t even want me. They’d mistaken me for Sherlock. They were going to kill Sarah because they thought I was Sherlock Holmes!  
>  _
> 
> […] I can’t deny that I prefer this kind of life. Being a civilian doesn’t suit me. But the thing is, this life we’ve chosen isn’t safe. Sherlock chooses to be this crusading consulting detective and I choose to be his colleague.

John even gets snarky [in the previous entry](http://www.johnwatsonblog.co.uk/blog/27march) and puts up a photo of both himself and Sherlock to avoid confusion of the characters. The thing is though, the _Blind Banker_ blog entry greatly contradicts John’s on-screen actions in the same-titled episode. While I understand that the blog has plenty of its own inconsistencies, this is a genuine marketing tool maintained by the show runners which they use to basically give us an insight into the inner workings of the main characters’ minds as a character building tool. On-screen, John was _TERRIFIED_ of having a gun to his head – John was nearly having a panic attack – yet in this blog entry John just seems to brush it off like it was no big deal. 

If you recall, at this point in the series John is only a few months invalided home from what was very likely an extremely traumatic gunshot wound to the shoulder, and quite possibly is still suffering a few nightmares from the final shot that sent him home. Now, it can be argued that his panic at the beginning of the scene was from his worry over Sarah, which is obviously true; it’s in his nature. But I’m more inclined to think he may have been having a small flashback-type scenario up until Shan fired the blank at John; Sarah is barely acknowledged until after this happens. 

Now, I’m no expert on PTSD, nor the effect war has on people. I truly admire people who have survived such horrors. However, John’s detachment seems like some form of defense mechanism for him as a way to cope with his traumatic experiences. This is why I believe he actually does have PTSD, despite what Mycroft says. This strange detachment is also present in _TGG_ , but I will get into that in the next section, as it is going to expand into a secondary theory I have regarding both the kidnapping and the pool scene in particular. 

The other significant event we see John with a gun aimed at his person is during the scuffle at Irene’s in _ASiB_. When the Americans turn the gun onto John, the agents conveniently discover not only a pressure point for Sherlock but a panic point for John: 

>   
>  NEILSON: Mr Archer. At the count of three, shoot Doctor Watson.  
>  JOHN: What?  
>  SHERLOCK: I don’t have the code.  
>  _(John cowers down as Archer presses the muzzle of his pistol into the back of his neck and cocks the gun.)_[[source]](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/26397.html)  
> 

This scene with the CIA agents solidifies John’s hostage history for me because of some very interesting parallels between this event and the one in _TBB_ : 

  * Both times, John tries to reason with his kidnappers and deflect the situation from himself _(TBB: I’m not Sherlock, I don’t have it! // ASiB: She’s the one who knows the code, ask HER!”)_
  * Both times, John was in shock and his brain automatically switches to panic mode as soon as the barrel is to his head; there is none of the eerily calm stoicism he displays at the pool in _TGG (again, in a moment)._
  * Both times, John cowers from the gun, as if expecting a shot to go off.



I’ll be going into more detail about this scene in my _Doctor vs. Soldier_ meta when I finally finish it, but the point I’m trying to make here is that when John does have a gun to his person, he seems to submit and recoil into himself. The conclusion I have drawn from these two situations in particular is that John is terribly fearful of guns not under his own control of which he cannot see _(by this, I mean that John was fine with the Americans up until he was suddenly unable to see Archer’s trigger finger)_. And it’s _ONLY_ guns directed at himself that John has this horrified reaction to. 

One more little scene I’d like to bring to your attention is when Sherlock takes John “hostage” in _TRF_. This is the ONLY time in the series that John has a gun to his head and is NOT terrified. Sherlock is someone he trusts. Ergo, I think John is only comfortable around guns when either Sherlock or he is in control of said weapon _(for the most part anyway… there’s also Sherlock and the gun at the beginning of_ TGG _, but that was more “Sherlock, you git, don’t fire these things inside”)._ The more I think on this, I’m now rather curious to know what John’s facial reactions to Mary holding a gun up to [him as Sherlock’s dummy in HLV](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/111945207371/hello-there-just-wondering-if-there-are-any) was. I have a feeling it would have been similar, initially, to when Sherlock held a firearm to him; John still trusted Mary up until this point, and it’s here where that trust began to falter. Following Leinster Gardens, however, John does continually bring up the fact that Mary was an assassin / murderer / basically handled a firearm with a note of displeasure and distrust _(off topic:[John’s trust issues are so real](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/119197178665/secrets-half-truths-and-trust), and Sherlock seems to be the only one allowed John’s trust despite his failings. John really doesn’t trust easily and you have to be someone pretty damned special to earn that trust and keep it)_. Remember, I said above that John is calm until he cannot see the weapon, so I think the only things keeping him from being in a right panic was him being able to _SEE_ the gun, his anger at Mary and disbelief of the situation as a whole. 

Naturally, John will be terrified of guns, since this is what sent him home in the end. It may fade over time, but until I actually see John’s facial reactions to being held at gun-point post-Sherlock’s return, I’m going to continue to presume that it’s highly likely John was a hostage when he was shot. 

* * *

__

### EXHIBIT B: JOHN VS. THE BOMB

__

John’s strange detachment from his being strapped to a bomb in _TGG (which was a wildly different reaction than what he had in_ TBB _with a gun to his head)_ is what initially alerted me to the possibility that John actually may have also previously been an unwilling suicide bomber, which in turn had me looking for evidence of a hostage past for our John. I’ve also developed a secondary theory regarding Jim’s knowledge about these situations, and he is using John’s history against him. 

There’s a snippet on John’s _[The Great Game](http://www.johnwatsonblog.co.uk/blog/01april)_ blog entry that has me especially believing that John previously has been a suicide bomber: 

> _Then a voice sounded in my ear and I realised I was wearing some kind of earpiece. **It said that I knew the drill and I was to repeat word-for-word what he said** otherwise I’d never be writing my blog again._

Yes, I understand that the military probably trains their recruits on how to deal with similar situations, and yes, Moriarty could have been referring to the previous hostages of the pips, but to me that line seems a bit personal. Since Jim knows everything about everyone, what’s to say that Jim also isn’t familiar with John’s military history and similar hostage situations he may have been in _(and as a doctor I’m sure John would have been a valuable bargaining chip)_? Thinking along those lines, it kind of makes the scene a whole lot more twisted: Jim is forcing John to relive one of his worst times in the military _(“I’ve had bad days…”)_. 

Because of this stoic reaction, it had me thinking on a secondary theory about why I think John may have been a hostage at least twice: What _IF_ John **WAS** meant to have been the one taken in _TBB_ all along? Assuming “M” is Moriarty whom the assassins were talking to, “M” would have been the one to alert them in the first place to Sherlock’s involvement, and could have possibly **sent them a picture of John instead**. Jim’s trying to dispose of John early, hoping the assassins roughing John up a bit would discourage him from continuing to follow Sherlock. Obviously this didn’t work, so then what follows is Jim concocting the pips to not only garner Sherlock’s attention _(hey, look at me, Sherlock, I am far more entertaining than your pet!)_ but is really one giant setup to frighten John away and have John see that Sherlock really isn’t the hero he thinks he is _(and yes, that sounds a little overdramatic, but let’s be real here, Jim is a bigger drama queen than Sherlock)_. **The great game was meant for John just as much as Sherlock.** Jim dislikes John a _LOT_ mainly because [Jim does not like that Sherlock is changing due to John’s influence](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/100681206615/sherlocks-heart-hasnt-been-burnt-out-yet), plus Jim is failing on numerous attempts to capture Sherlock’s attentions because of John. 

As I said above, Jim possibly has information about John’s past in his repertoire due to his association with Mycroft, so Jim therefore orchestrates two separate ways to try to discourage John further based on John’s military records: the first _(TBB)_ being a situation similar to the one that sent John home not more than 2 months prior, a situation still so fresh in John’s mind that it should be enough for John to call it quits; the second situation, upon the first one failing, is orchestrated on ANOTHER past event that was traumatic for John, one which he or someone close to him was strapped to a bomb and forced to play suicide bomber. If you really think about it, this makes Jim’s great game even more sadistic, because then the WHOLE EPISODE is Jim taunting John about knowing John’s history, something that even Sherlock doesn’t know at this point _(which then could have been one of the many prompts for Sherlock needing to know everything about John)_. Regardless, John is strangely desensitized to the bombs as opposed to guns, and Jim just happened to get it wrong in thinking that John was just an ordinary man. 

And let’s not forget [John’s discreet S.O.S. to Sherlock](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/113649128515/john-is-blinking-s-o-s-in-morse-code-when-he): something John would know to do if he were in a hostage situation, either from training or personal experience, I don’t know, but here it is as additional evidence. 

Granted, John _WAS_ flushed and panicky after Sherlock rescued him after Jim left, but is this not a complete reversal of his reactions to the guns? John is panicky when the guns are in his face and then brushes it off afterwards. Here, he’s got enough explosives strapped to him to _BLOW UP AN APARTMENT COMPLEX_ and John seems like it’s just another day for him: he’s much too desensitized to the current situation, and then worries about it later. John’s seen what bombs can do, knows that there’s dumb luck getting out of bomb situations, so there’s no point in panicking about it. You need to keep your head in the game in order to survive. He would have never become Captain if he couldn’t. But he also knows people with guns are unpredictable, and it’s that unpredictability which almost killed him. 

In season 3, Mind Palace!Mycroft tells us that there are no coincidences, that the universe is rarely so lazy. So it’s _NOT_ a coincidence, I think, that John was abducted and not Sherlock in _TBB_ , that the entirety of _TGG_ was basically a war veteran’s worst nightmare, and that John was the final pip in the game. The entire season is a test for both Sherlock AND John, and I think it’s only going to get worse before it gets better _(as mentioned in **Exhibit A** : I think following the pool, Jim HAD to change tactics, and upon realizing he couldn’t get to John directly, Jim decided to get to Sherlock by instead USING John … Sherlock has a heart after all)._

_“But I-J!”_ , I hear you cry. _“We never saw John’s initial reaction to being faced with the bomb at the pool! He probably did panic and then went into his survival mode!”._

Actually, we have this line in the very same episode with the pool scene: 

>   
>  _(Sherlock starts to walk towards [the shoes in 221C] but John holds out a cautionary hand towards him.)_  
>  JOHN: He’s a bomber, remember. [[source]](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/46716.html)  
> 

This is John’s initial reaction to a bomb threat. He was obviously cautious, but his head is in the game. He doesn’t freeze up. He doesn’t panic. John’s stoicism in the face of a bomb threat is evident even after having only just been discharged a few months prior to this episode _(I’m guesstimating no more than six, going by blog timelines)._

And, much like a LOT of stuff we’re discovering about the characters, insight is further given with the arrival of Season Three. In _The Empty Hearse_ , we actually _AGAIN_ see John’s initial reaction to being faced with a bomb threat: He’s calm and tries to remain level-headed, even coming up with some ideas on what to do. Granted, this was possibly about six years since his discharge from the army, plus he had Sherlock by his side _(which always seems to keep John cool and collected)._ But think about this, _REALLY think about this _: if you have a fear, one that affects your very being, does it ever _really_ go away? Possibly, with some therapy, the symptoms manifesting as a fear would lessen _(and as we learn in_ TSo3, _John is back in therapy… but what for isn’t explicitly stated)_. However, in the face of both of these bombs, while John clearly does fear these moments, they don’t leave him as the panic-stricken mess he was in _TBB_ and _ASiB_. As I said before, I know nothing about PTSD, aside from what I read on Wikipedia and that it affects every single person suffering from it differently. __

* * *

__

### EXHIBIT C: BASKERVILLE’S A SCARY PLACE…

__

Now, I wasn’t going to mention this, since John’s terror was induced by a mind-altering drug at the time of his entrapment in the labs of Baskerville, a drug of which had the specific purpose to trigger a fear response from a perceived danger. However, my task is to present all the scenarios in which John possibly could be recalling prior hostage encounters, and through John’s heightened fear I think it’s very much possible that he not only was hallucinating the hound, but perhaps other threats as well. His only lifeline tying him to reality was his communication with Sherlock, and I think if he didn’t have that phone, John’s head would have been in a very different place. However, even under the drug’s influence, John still: 

  1. remained as calm as the situation allowed him to be _(in the labs)_ , and
  2. was able to still aim a gun and fire it with deadly accuracy at the hound _(on the moors)_.



I’m not going to look too much into it, since we can’t really say what John would be like in a similar situation if he were not drugged, but this episode is worth mentioning at least to show that even drugged, John can still remain focussed on the task at hand. Unlike Henry, John wasn’t exposed to the drug for extended periods, so I can’t really say with certainty that any of John’s hostage situations included John being drugged which would cause him to be fearful of that sort of situation. While I will concede that the possibility is there, it should be mentioned that **in the labs John did not know he was drugged**. John’s reactions change, though, once he realized he was drugged during the second visit to the moors – John was able to cast aside the fear response and do what was needed to be done with a level head and deadly accuracy. The writers make it very clear that the drugs in the pocket mines at the moors _SHOULD_ have triggered that fear response by showing us, during the climax, Sherlock having hallucinations about Moriarty, causing him to be afraid and aggressive toward said hallucinations. The man who has a _DRUG HISTORY_ is affected by the drug _EXACTLY_ as it was stated in the notes he read in Barrymore’s office – **TWICE I MIGHT ADD** – yet John, whom we assume has never willingly partaken in any sort of mind-altering drug, is affected until he knows what he is up against, then he just simply brushes away the problem once again. John regains his control, Captain Watson returns. Hello, John’s detachment, our old friend. 

On a side note, points go to Sherlock for being friend-of-the-year for putting his PTSD-ridden best friend in a terror situation. Good on you, Sherlock. 

* * *

### EXHIBIT D: BURN, BABY, BURN

Our poor John is once again the victim of yet _another_ horribly awful kidnapping slash hostage event while under Sherlock’s watch. Here’s another event I also wasn’t really going to mention, but let’s lay all the cards on the table, shall we? John gets drugged _(again)_ with a paralyzing agent, subsequently thrown into a fire, and then is only panicking because he cannot move. Let’s be real, that would be a terrifying situation for _ANYONE_ , PTSD or not. The next day, John is up and about and makes a stupid joke about being thrown into a fire. We could argue that this is just John’s detachment-after-trauma kicking in, but until I see evidence in a future episode of John being scared of a burning building or thrown into a fire in which he actually has his motor skills in tact, I can’t really say that his fear is anything other than _NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE_. Like, seriously, the man spent at least three years in war zones surrounded by bombs, gunfire and possibly even burning buildings. I don’t think he was scared of the situation itself, **but more of the loss of control**. In fact, in _HLV_ , he’s actually really annoyed that his “sacrifice” was just for leverage. So no, I don’t think that fires trigger any sort of memories of being a hostage other than “war = bombs and violence everywhere”. 

* * *

### EXHIBIT E: KNIFE MEETING YOU

Should I have even really bothered mentioning the knife Wiggins holds to him in _HLV_? Seriously, John BAMFs his way through that, moving on. 

* * *

### EXHIBIT F: FLICK YOU.

Not much really I can say about Magnussen flicking John in the face. I suppose we can view it as yet more evidence that John may have also been similarly humiliated in a previous situation. Like Jim, Magnussen knows everything about everyone, and since I believe the two once worked together as far back as _TGG (I believe he was the source that Ms. Wenceslas contacted to find Moriarty)_ , Magnussen would also know everything about John’s military history. Magnussen is doing it to piss off Sherlock, certainly, but there’s a very real underlying _SOMETHING_ there that makes me think that humiliation could also have been introduced into his hostage situations. John handles this situation remarkably well for someone who has never, on-screen, been dehumanized like this. As a captain, John possibly would have had to “take one for the team” as it were, to save the soldiers under his command. If that meant being humiliated and/or dehumanized in front of people _(which also could explain his utter distrust in people)_ , then so be it. 

* * *

**TL;DR** : Sherlock initially stated in _ASiP_ that the circumstances that led to John’s injury were traumatic, and I believe that said final traumatic experience was quite possibly a hostage situation, one that may have involved a close-range weapon to his head which somehow ended up in his shoulder _(John fighting back perhaps, negotiations gone awry, don’t know)_. John being a doctor during a war would have possibly made him a very valuable man to kidnap, so I think that him being hostage is a very likely possibility on just that fact alone. I realize that doctors aren’t necessarily deployed to the front lines, I get that, but I am suspect to believe that, with his level of danger addiction _(and his rank)_ , it’s VERY possible John actually WAS on the battlefield with the other soldiers, possibly on his own accord and not necessarily told to be there. But I can’t try to persuade with just that: while going through the series, I found that John seems to be strangely desensitized to other dangerous situations – strapped to a bomb, threatened with a knife, thrown in a fire, being kidnapped. All of them are followed by John either being a BAMF or having an odd detachment from the situations. However, the few times we see John faced with a firearm directed at him of which he cannot see, he panics. Granted, this simply could just be _“well, wouldn’t ANYONE be terrified of a gun to their head?”_ thing, but here’s my point: they’re the ONLY dangerous situations in which John shows genuine fear. I theorize he’s been a hostage at _LEAST_ twice, due to a) his drastically different reactions to the different methods of his kidnappings _(particularly gun to his head vs. strapped to a bomb)_ and b) his nonchalance with being kidnapped, alluding to John being desensitized to it. Looking at some of the danger situations that we see John in throughout the series, it’s clear we can conclude one thing: John is _not_ comfortable around guns at all unless he or Sherlock, and possibly Lestrade _(ie. people he trusts)_ are the ones in control of them. Sherlock himself suggests John is acclimatized to violence, yet when presented with a gun to his head, he is TERRIFIED, EXCEPT WHEN SHERLOCK DID IT in _TRF_. 

I don’t think it’s guns John is afraid of; that’s ridiculous given his sniper-level accuracy with a gun and his reactions to guns when he can see them. _I think that it’s his loss of control of the situation that John fears._ People and guns are unpredictable. With the bomb situations, I believe John feels he can somehow get out of them _(and he possibly HAS talked his way out of a bomb situation before, given his reactions at the pool)_. But when a gun is held to his person by someone he cannot trust, then that control is lost. People are not easily controlled, and one wrong move can have a bullet in the shoulder. 

As a side note, John mentions in _TSo3_ that he was a veteran of both Kandahar and Helmand. It’s interesting to point out that a quick Google search of “kandahar hostage” and “helmand hostage” brings up quite a few news stories of the horrifying hostage situations that had happened, so it’s quite possible that John bringing up two places in which hostage situations had occurred could also be hinting towards John having been involved in them to some degree. It’s not proof at all, but I thought it was worth noting that BBC canon now places John in two places where hostage situations actually took place. 

I know my theory really doesn’t hold much water, since, you know, John _WAS ACTUALLY SHOT so OF COURSE_ he’s not cool with guns, but the idea of him being a hostage pre- _ASiP_ stems from a single line written in John’s _TGG_ blog entry, which basically says Moriarty told John that John knew how the situation was to go, possibly alluding to Jim also knowing John’s history and used the pool as not only a test for Sherlock but a “trigger” for John to finally leave Sherlock. I’ve never seen anyone really suggest that “hostage with gun to his head” was John’s last moments in Afghanistan, so I thought I’d put it out there. Nor have I seen it suggested that the entirety of _TBB_ and _TGG_ were [actually orchestrated for John’s benefit as much as Sherlock’s](http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/post/121538135495/theory-tbb-and-tgg-were-orchestrated-for-john). 

John has had bad days after all.


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